Tag Archives: confidence

R.S.A.D.

the fatigue washed over me as I had never been washed over before. It did more than that. it nullified me. actually, that’s an overstatement. as far as i know, i am not completely nullified. i am here. maybe a … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Core work

I had breakfast with a British chap, a friend I’ve known since my formative  years, which are still forming. He ordered the French toast. I ordered the eggs. He asked me how my work was going. When I last saw … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

the unforgiven

i know this (among many other things) might sound really insecure, but whenever I send out a message–voice or email–to a friend who does not respond, i somehow convince myself that i have said or done something terribly, heinously and … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

meeting expectations

at work today, they surprised me with my first (and hopefully final) 6-month performance review. I mostly “met expectations,” but i “need improvement” in my communication skills. By October 2013, my bosses expect me to have completed some sort of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

the lion’s share

as i feared, this is indeed turning out to be the week where i am being exposed as a fraud. at work, they are asking me to do more and more things that require knowledge and expertise in matters of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

inauthentic

my lack of confidence that i once thought i hid so well is not quite as hidden as it used to be. it might just be me, but i think people are beginning to notice. or maybe it’s just being so vulnerable at … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

erroneous

i don’t know what it is about me that can’t accept any decision i make, that constantly, voraciously questions the choices i make. as soon as i reach 1 decision, i see only calamity and doom. while the choice i … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

confidence, day 2

day 2 of my feigning confidence experiment. it’s off to a rough start so far. we all were sitting across from each other in this conference room. at the conference table. i guess it was my turn to speak, but … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

confidence

today, i tried to exude a fake sense of confidence and almost got away with it. i don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. not having actual confidence, or getting away with faking, or not … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

what i did

all i did in the world today has been take take take. i can tell you that i am taking for my own survival. or maybe not taking, but sealing off from giving. because all i can think about is … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment