my lack of confidence that i once thought i hid so well is not quite as hidden as it used to be. it might just be me, but i think people are beginning to notice. or maybe it’s just being so vulnerable at a new job that is so alien to me. it’s hard to feel authentic in a place where i am not sure my authenticity would be welcome. it feels like an act of courage–an inner strength–to be authentic. but you know, sometimes i get so lost i couldn’t even tell you what “authentic” even means. my moments of authenticity are always startling to me.