Category Archives: Uncategorized

Social distance dream

Last night, I dreamt I was locked up in a minimum security prison for a petty crime of which I cannot recall. It may have been accidental theft (perhaps walking out of Whole Foods forgetting to pay for something). The … Continue reading

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Burst

Nobody told me that Spring had arrived. That Winter was no more, as if there was a Winter at all. Maybe I was not supposed to know. Maybe it was better for me not to know.  But now I know. … Continue reading

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Social distancing

I work in an open office environment. I find the whole open office concept to be a bit disconcerting. It’s like sharing a tiny studio apartment with the same 78 people every day. Or like hosting guests in my studio … Continue reading

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Evidence

Between job insecurity hip replacement surgery and coronavirus, not much new to report. It’s all been reported. If it were not for C’s text messages throughout, I would barely know I even exist. And I still do not see any … Continue reading

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Quesy

The day shift has ended and with it comes the night of wrestling with uncertainty that I am not at all comfortable with. It makes me queasy. So many things. So many many things to ponder. Mostly related to my … Continue reading

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Priorities

A vast field of numbness today. Coupled with bitterness that I feel such numbness. I don’t know who to be angrier at that I find myself in this predicament, going on 5 years now. Why is this happening? Might there … Continue reading

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Germ masks

What are you so afraid of? This fear you have … That people will either discover who you really are Or Never discover who you really are To be truly authentic and present in this world requires accepting and moving … Continue reading

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Tapping away

This afternoon at work, this woman who sits directly opposite me sort of sheepishly walked up to my desk and asked in a hushed tone if I could stop tapping my feet. I acted incredulous (that is, at least I … Continue reading

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Unarrived

I can’t tell you where I’ve been lately because I haven’t the faintest clue. I think I may have been in L.A. But my image of being there is approaching dim. I may have been tango dancing with my new … Continue reading

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Empty promise

I am so sad to see you go. I am not sure what happened You called me to tell you did not want to talk and that I should do all of the talking. I asked if you wanted me … Continue reading

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It’s amazing how a 1 day road trip can shake up one’s consciousness out of the doldrums. That’s kind of what happened when I went to Dia:Beacon and continues 2 days later. Which I didn’t expect. I just met this … Continue reading

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somebody told me i should be writing. so i asked, have you seen my writing lately? this person look bewildered. I said “I am guessing you have not seen it because if you had, you might think i should be … Continue reading

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made it

Danbury Connecticut After 3 days of non-decision, I finally decided to take a little road trip to Beacon, NY specifically to visit Dia Beacon which I have not yet seen and who knows how much longer I’ll be out on … Continue reading

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The challenge

The challenge is quite challenging. Quite. How to fend off abject loneliness and a sense of failure as a human over the holidays. Am I up for the challenge? Sigh. I’m really not sure.

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Not terrible news

Today may have been a first. The first time a doctor called me to tell me news that was not terrible. In this case, I don’t have knee cancer. Only I would be at risk for something like cancer of … Continue reading

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