Monthly Archives: October 2013

smashed

Posted on October 29, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i am not sure how it happened. i just heard the sound of crunching metal. and i saw the 2 cars facing each other in a stalemate… one with its door smashed off. i saw the people emerge from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bicycles, cars, crunch, door, metal, smash, squeamish | Leave a comment

the best question

Posted on October 28, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

probably the strangest question during my 9 hour job interview last week was the final question: how would you like us to remember you? me? yes. how i would like you to remember me? am i understanding that correctly? yes. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged absence, chair, character, here, identity, integrity, job interview, memory, perpetuity, personality, plausibility, presence, sensibility | 1 Comment

signals

Posted on October 26, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

so now i’m at a caribou coffee. i’m having one of those light-sensitive headaches i get periodically. but i have no headache potions with me. it’s so tempting to ask the woman at the table on my right who is … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged computer, energies, headaches, light-sensitive., telepathic, temptation, writing | Leave a comment

fire drill

Posted on October 25, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

there was a fake fire drill at work today. i was assigned to guide people down from the 5th floor North East stairwell to first floor lobby. they were supposed to follow me. But i could not find any of … Continue reading →

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the end of “October”

Posted on October 19, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i feel so in between everything. do you know that feeling? does that ever happen to you? how long does it usually last? i am hoping to be less in between before the end of October. that sounds so foreign, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Christmas, Halloween, in between, May 5, meaning, October | Leave a comment

succumb

Posted on October 18, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i have this strange mix of dread and excitement about my job interview trip to the west coast that happens on Saturday. an excitement about the possibility of being out there in the clear open sky (in denial of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged anticipation, boring, committees, dread, excitement, feet, job interview, schedule, stress, voice | Leave a comment

the sea on your head

Posted on October 13, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

there are moments when shyness is a raft, cast adrift in the sea, never quite reaching shore. ok. i get the “never quite reaching shore” part, but what makes shyness a raft? I don’t get it. shyness is a weight. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged escape, fence, graze, jail cell, pasture, responsibility, sea, shyness, warden | Leave a comment

foot in the door

Posted on October 12, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

some people fall off the ladder. some people fall off of the grid. some people have a way of falling off both simultaneously, without even an inkling of regret. but it’s not an easy path. some people exert everything they … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged air, ajar, answer, door, fatigue, flow, foot, grid, job interview, map, path, question, search committee | Leave a comment

sweater vest

Posted on October 10, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i woke up at dawn from the most terrifying of nightmares. in this nightmare, i was staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and, as if that were not terrifying enough, i was wearing a gray sweater vest over … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bathroom, gray, mirror, narcissism, nighmare, sweater vest, terror | Leave a comment

the inconceivable

Posted on October 9, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i love this time of night… the moments that occur between 10:54 and 10:55pm. i seem to come alive then. something transformative happens. my eyes open. i remember how to breathe. all of the lingering doubts and regrets and fears … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged alive, comfort, doubts, exhale, fears, inconceivable, lingering, murmur, night, obsessions, regrets, ringing in the ears, speculations, writing | Leave a comment

the pony and the bear

Posted on October 8, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

finally, at the 24th hour, silence. even the bear and the pony who live next door on the other side of the wall, even they have stopped whinnying and growling. it’s eerie. traffic outside the window has ceased, except for … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bear, eerie, glasses, neighbors, pony, silence, traffic, window | Leave a comment

i forgot

Posted on October 7, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i forgot to look at The Lake today. i have no explanation, nary an excuse. it was there, right in front me all of the time. I knew it would be a Good Lake. I heard this from many people … Continue reading →

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2

Posted on October 6, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i apologize for not having written to you in days, but it feels like forever. if writing years are akin to dog years, then it’s been quite a long time. i’ve missed you. i hope you don’t mind my saying … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 2, apartment, Chicago, delusion, dog years, missing you, West Coast, writing | Leave a comment

sun exposure

Posted on October 2, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

shortly before performing the skin cancer surgery, the surgeon asked me if i had been exposed to the sun very much as a child… which, upon reflection, confused me. at first i thought she was asking if i had been … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged change, childhood, constellations, galaxies, heart, intervention, planets, sentimentality, skin cancer, sun | Leave a comment