the lion’s share

as i feared, this is indeed turning out to be the week where i am being exposed as a fraud. at work, they are asking me to do more and more things that require knowledge and expertise in matters of which i do not have a clue.

i’ve been there a month. So now I must ask, how much time does one take when one starts a new job before one admits one has no idea how to go about doing what one is asked to do?

Or before one surrenders and simply says, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, for what I have done and I am sorry for what I cannot do. At what point should I mention this to them without jeopardizing my health insurance? Yet keeping this inside of me is eating away at my health.

Maybe it’s best for me to say–I’m sorry I gave you the impression that I had the capacity to understand and execute what you are asking of me.  If I managed to sound smart and confident at my interview and now you are seeing me in real life, I will take the lion’s share of the blame. I know you would agree that there are multiple forms of intelligence, but I do not happen to have the one you had expected.

At one point do i ask my supervisor if she can find someone else to take care of the growing list of the things I am slowly proving I cannot do? Is 5 weeks too much time, or just the right amount?

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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