Author Archives: The Lost Pedestrian

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.

Un-heard

I’m not sure what the deal is with the past 2 weeks, but I have been in the foulest foulest mood. Irritated at myself. Irritated at people, places and things that are not myself. I just want everything to move … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Intentional community

This woman named Fatima contacted me about a possible apartment share. I’m not sure how she found me. Oh yes, it was probably Craigslist. The apartment was in  In Arlington. Everything is in Arlington. So I left the forest and drove to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hovering

Have you ever noticed that when you take CBD oil, you get this floaty feeling? Sort of a feeling that you have already died, and now you are ghost hovering the body you once inhabited. Sort of there and not … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

bless you

I’ve been sneezing all day. Like every 10 minutes. Precisely. on the clock. But then I turn on cable trump news and I get sucked into it. And I forget about sneezing. Although I continue to sneeze. I’m just not … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

concrete

Today’s the day. The anniversary. 3 years. 3 years in exile. trying to remain hopeful, but so far i don’t see any concrete signs.  i see lots of concrete but none of it speaks to me. But really, how much … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I forgotten

The thought of you on another train on Christmas Day in 2018. A solitary resident of the Quiet Car. But it was never your intent to be so quiet. It was never your intent to be alone. Never your intent … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Crumbs

Sometimes I feel like my neediness will swallow the world and there will be nothing left but shadows of crumbs. And then my neediness will sweep those up, too.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Freezing

It was freezing today. Not outside. But inside. I couldn’t do anything. I started out with good intentions. Well maybe not that good, but definitely intentions. I thought I would venture out to one of the 2 new ‘recreational’ marijuana … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Vanishing point

I was just thinking about the vanishing point and how I may have stumbled beyond it. And it’s scary to think of how resigned I am becoming to that fate. It’s beyond my control. I can’t get a handle on … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Havana night

On the train home from the holiday party (the theme was “Havana Night”) at work where I endured and apparently survived an hour and a half of awkward meandering around people I see everyday but have never spoken to and … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

3

3 years. 3 years of what? 3 years of something. 3 years of knowing less and less than I did the previous 3 years Although aging seems to be objectively speaking undeniable But it’s all a blur. A meandering, mercurial … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I feel like I owe the world an apology. I know I am supposed to stop apologizing but I am trying to figure out how to handle the shame and embarrassment I feel over things I have said or done … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Gingko Biloba

I saw this guy walking outside the train station, gazing down at the sidewalk. Murmuring (to himself, I think), “Fuck! Fuck! God dammit! Fuck! Fucking shit! Fuck!” I wanted to ask what was troubling him. But I was a little … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A reaction

Why is it so much easier to react to things than to be the one who causes a reaction? If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that question, I would be a very rich person indeed. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Right to life

Thoughts after the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation: Things are really catching up with me and I’m not sure if I can adapt to them. At my workplace, there was a 401(k) meeting and the 401(k) consultants or whatever they are called … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment