Author Archives: The Lost Pedestrian

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.

lifeless life

I don’t know how it happened this way. Why it happened this way. But I managed to live a life without really living it. And now it’s almost over. Maybe it’s just my pandemic mindset. But I have lived so … Continue reading

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Social distance dream

Last night, I dreamt I was locked up in a minimum security prison for a petty crime of which I cannot recall. It may have been accidental theft (perhaps walking out of Whole Foods forgetting to pay for something). The … Continue reading

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Burst

Nobody told me that Spring had arrived. That Winter was no more, as if there was a Winter at all. Maybe I was not supposed to know. Maybe it was better for me not to know.  But now I know. … Continue reading

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Social distancing

I work in an open office environment. I find the whole open office concept to be a bit disconcerting. It’s like sharing a tiny studio apartment with the same 78 people every day. Or like hosting guests in my studio … Continue reading

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Evidence

Between job insecurity hip replacement surgery and coronavirus, not much new to report. It’s all been reported. If it were not for C’s text messages throughout, I would barely know I even exist. And I still do not see any … Continue reading

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Quesy

The day shift has ended and with it comes the night of wrestling with uncertainty that I am not at all comfortable with. It makes me queasy. So many things. So many many things to ponder. Mostly related to my … Continue reading

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Priorities

A vast field of numbness today. Coupled with bitterness that I feel such numbness. I don’t know who to be angrier at that I find myself in this predicament, going on 5 years now. Why is this happening? Might there … Continue reading

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Germ masks

What are you so afraid of? This fear you have … That people will either discover who you really are Or Never discover who you really are To be truly authentic and present in this world requires accepting and moving … Continue reading

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Tapping away

This afternoon at work, this woman who sits directly opposite me sort of sheepishly walked up to my desk and asked in a hushed tone if I could stop tapping my feet. I acted incredulous (that is, at least I … Continue reading

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Unarrived

I can’t tell you where I’ve been lately because I haven’t the faintest clue. I think I may have been in L.A. But my image of being there is approaching dim. I may have been tango dancing with my new … Continue reading

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Empty promise

I am so sad to see you go. I am not sure what happened You called me to tell you did not want to talk and that I should do all of the talking. I asked if you wanted me … Continue reading

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It’s amazing how a 1 day road trip can shake up one’s consciousness out of the doldrums. That’s kind of what happened when I went to Dia:Beacon and continues 2 days later. Which I didn’t expect. I just met this … Continue reading

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somebody told me i should be writing. so i asked, have you seen my writing lately? this person look bewildered. I said “I am guessing you have not seen it because if you had, you might think i should be … Continue reading

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made it

Danbury Connecticut After 3 days of non-decision, I finally decided to take a little road trip to Beacon, NY specifically to visit Dia Beacon which I have not yet seen and who knows how much longer I’ll be out on … Continue reading

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The challenge

The challenge is quite challenging. Quite. How to fend off abject loneliness and a sense of failure as a human over the holidays. Am I up for the challenge? Sigh. I’m really not sure.

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