Tag Archives: voice

courtesy call

for over 16 weeks now, someone has been calling me at least twice a day, leaving messages that first disturbed me, frightened me because the only sound i could make out was heavy breathing. but today i noticed other ambient … Continue reading

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over/under/thinking

last night’s piano lesson was a catastrophe from the get-go. i had not practiced in over 2 weeks and i probably should have cancelled because lessons tend to go very poorly and are are extremely extremely difficult when i don’t practice. … Continue reading

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pretend harder

i’ve been trying to figure out why i am so bad at work or work-related presentations–and why they feel so different than performing. is it because i feel like i am being scrutinized and judged based upon criteria that have … Continue reading

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Mikrokosmos

i am trying to rise above this sinus/ear infection and trying to drown out the ringing that drowns out so many other things. but it just feels really really hard. at first, i was freaked to have so much more … Continue reading

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succumb

i have this strange mix of dread and excitement about my job interview trip to the west coast that happens on Saturday. an excitement about the possibility of being out there in the clear open sky (in denial of my … Continue reading

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screened

another extremely clumsy job interview today. i am not sure exactly what took hold of me, but this voice, foreign to my comprehension, was speaking through my body. the interview was with this recruiting firm for nonprofit organizations. i applied … Continue reading

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bombardment

my mission tonight is to write something deeply personal that has absolutely nothing to do with me. there is no room for me in tonight’s post. this blog is becoming dangerous because even if i write something that has absolutely … Continue reading

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the disqualifyer

most of the day was spent walking upstairs and then downstairs and then back upstairs and downstairs again, still trying to determine what my priorities are. but that’s not really what i had on my mind. what i had on … Continue reading

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the ghost at the spectacle

a ghostly experience tonight at a soccer stadium in a southwest quadrant of the city, this marathon music fest with 4 bands, the last which was Bob Dylan and his band. the audience seemed to be there more for the … Continue reading

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the village jew

i had no way of getting out of it. the mandatory employee bowling party at my new place of employment (probably topped the charts on my long list of alienating experiences. i did not bowl, but i learned the hard … Continue reading

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Toast

My voice feels like toast. And it sounds like gravel, but Who am I to judge ?

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the wrong car

feeling out of sorts these post-surgical days. my voice is stronger than ever, even boomy… it’s kind of miraculous. but as with the previous 11 surgeries since my mishap of 2008, it’s always the rebound from the anesthetics that feels … Continue reading

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The Eiffel Tower

I’m not sure how to engage in conversation with one of my co-workers. I must first say that not once in my 3 years of working there has anyone asked me anything about myself or anything about my non-work life … Continue reading

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disjunction

even a Lost Pedestrian has some sense of direction everyone once in a while. but sensing it and actually getting there… sometimes there’s a bewildering disjunction. It’s amazing how far I can lean forward in one direction, only it turns … Continue reading

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The Oracle is always right

free from hyperbole, I plowed through infamy, waiting for rescue and redemption. My Oracle told me the big problem, the big thing I was hung up upon was this waiting… waiting for help from The OutSide. Help I can only … Continue reading

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