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Tag Archives: voice
the narrator
how strange it is for me to assume that i don’t have a story. how strange it is for me to assume that I don’t have a story simply because i don’t have a narrator. I can’t tell you how … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged character, control, god complex, narrative, narrator, voice
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courtesy call
for over 16 weeks now, someone has been calling me at least twice a day, leaving messages that first disturbed me, frightened me because the only sound i could make out was heavy breathing. but today i noticed other ambient … Continue reading
over/under/thinking
last night’s piano lesson was a catastrophe from the get-go. i had not practiced in over 2 weeks and i probably should have cancelled because lessons tend to go very poorly and are are extremely extremely difficult when i don’t practice. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged catastrophe, discipline, fear, intimidation, music theory, over-thinking, piano lessons, practice, under-thinking, voice
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pretend harder
i’ve been trying to figure out why i am so bad at work or work-related presentations–and why they feel so different than performing. is it because i feel like i am being scrutinized and judged based upon criteria that have … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged courage, criteria, fearlessness, hoarse, judgment, nervous, performance, performance anxiety, presentations, professional, scrutinize, stammer, stutter, tremble, tremor, voice, work
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succumb
i have this strange mix of dread and excitement about my job interview trip to the west coast that happens on Saturday. an excitement about the possibility of being out there in the clear open sky (in denial of my … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anticipation, boring, committees, dread, excitement, feet, job interview, schedule, stress, voice
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screened
another extremely clumsy job interview today. i am not sure exactly what took hold of me, but this voice, foreign to my comprehension, was speaking through my body. the interview was with this recruiting firm for nonprofit organizations. i applied … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged body, eyes, foreign, ingratiating, job interview, recruiting firm, revenge, screening, soul, voice, weather
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the ghost at the spectacle
a ghostly experience tonight at a soccer stadium in a southwest quadrant of the city, this marathon music fest with 4 bands, the last which was Bob Dylan and his band. the audience seemed to be there more for the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged audience, bewilderment, Bob Dylan, ghost, hover, soccer stadium, spectacle, spellbound, voice
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the village jew
i had no way of getting out of it. the mandatory employee bowling party at my new place of employment (probably topped the charts on my long list of alienating experiences. i did not bowl, but i learned the hard … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged alienation, banter, bowling party, chosen people, HR, investor, jolly, surgery, talking to myself, village Jew, voice, white man
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Toast
My voice feels like toast. And it sounds like gravel, but Who am I to judge ?
the wrong car
feeling out of sorts these post-surgical days. my voice is stronger than ever, even boomy… it’s kind of miraculous. but as with the previous 11 surgeries since my mishap of 2008, it’s always the rebound from the anesthetics that feels … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anesthetics, bubble, cars, dating sites, dry cleaners, friction, injury, kayak, mishap, OkCupid, omen, passage, roof rack, rug, shamanic death, stamina, surgery, voice
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The Eiffel Tower
I’m not sure how to engage in conversation with one of my co-workers. I must first say that not once in my 3 years of working there has anyone asked me anything about myself or anything about my non-work life … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged acid, blog, Cecil Taylor, clever, co-worker, conversation, Dylan, Eiffel Tower, Grateful Dead, heart, Journey, leaky pen, life, Massachusetts, Patti Smith, Rush, voice, ZZ Top
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disjunction
even a Lost Pedestrian has some sense of direction everyone once in a while. but sensing it and actually getting there… sometimes there’s a bewildering disjunction. It’s amazing how far I can lean forward in one direction, only it turns … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged authentic, bewilderment, direction, disjunction, eyes, intersection, negotiation, sense of direction, uncertainty, voice
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The Lost Pedestrian 