my mission tonight is to write something deeply personal that has absolutely nothing to do with me. there is no room for me in tonight’s post. this blog is becoming dangerous because even if i write something that has absolutely nothing to do with me at all, it turns out to be a forecast of something i eventually become. so i try out a different voice, trying to elude the previous one. like a game of dodge ball.

in my grade school boys gym class, they called it bombardment. two teams on opposite sides of the gym with each boy throwing these red inflatable balls as hard as they could at the boy opposite to him. i think the goal was to hit someone in the stomach so hard, it winded him, or to smash each other’s faces in. what were they training us for? i have never tried martial arts, but bombardment was probably the completely opposite. very martial, but devoid of art.