another extremely clumsy job interview today. i am not sure exactly what took hold of me, but this voice, foreign to my comprehension, was speaking through my body.

the interview was with this recruiting firm for nonprofit organizations. i applied for a job they listed on their Facebook page over a month ago, and i was invited in for a screening interview today. i was interviewed by 2 people, one who did all of the talking, the other who did all of the blank staring, into my soul.

the talking one asked me how my day was going. i tried to say that i was tired after a extremely dull workday at my current place of employment which i loathe. but the foreign voice pushed its way forward, uttering something about the weather, how nice it was, which would have been fine had it not added, i just wish it were warmer. which could not have been further from the truth. the talking one replied, ”you wish it were warmer?” Both of them glanced at each other and exchanged a silent communication. at that moment, i knew it was over.

but it plodded along for another 20 minutes before they politely informed me that the position which i had actually applied for had been filled weeks ago. the foreign voice held me back and restrained me from asking, “so why did you call me in here? were you angry at me for something i was not aware of?  is this your form of retaliation? is that what this is about?”

instead, the foreign voice took the initiative to ask if they had any advice for me on skills i might acquire that would make me more qualified for such jobs in the future.

all 3 of us in the room were aghast at the foreign voice. i think one of us said “say what??” it was the most ingratiating voice any of us had ever heard. and nullifying, too. i’m glad that it’s not here at this moment to keep me from writing about it. and i hope it never comes back.