Category Archives: Uncategorized

Combatants

It’s too noisy in here. in this room. in this head. constant din and clatter. seriously agitated all day, ever since last night when a friend gave me some advice that is the complete opposite of my instincts, that is … Continue reading

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Returned (Allen, pt. 1)

The other night at a bar, a friend asked me if I have spoken with Allen lately, it kind of took me off-guard. How could she know I was holding regular conversations with him, silent conversations while awake, verbal ones … Continue reading

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brown noise karaoke night

what’s the word for that feeling you sometimes get…. as if you are a guest in someone else’s home who has overstayed her/his welcome? you know you’re not supposed to be there. you’re supposed to be elsewhere, but you need … Continue reading

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the decider

Lately I am focusing a lot of energy on making decisions without actually having to make decisions. It’s not as if I want others to make decisions for me. But if I can somehow sway them to make the decisions … Continue reading

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The Eiffel Tower

I’m not sure how to engage in conversation with one of my co-workers. I must first say that not once in my 3 years of working there has anyone asked me anything about myself or anything about my non-work life … Continue reading

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my winter heart

i can almost feel it. my winter heart slowly awakening. October is my Spring. i’ve never been able to figure out why i am this way. the only person I know that seems to really “get it” is my chiropractor/acupuncturist, … Continue reading

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Captain Kangaroo

it’s that time of day where i search and search for something to say. and if i could say anything, would it be worth writing about? i could write about the barista at the Starbucks on the way to work. … Continue reading

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avoid, resist, embrace

it turns out that avoiding and resisting may sometimes be advantageous in the sense of giving me more time to gather information about what i may be avoiding… after all, i’m an information gatherer… whether my avoidance is really attuned … Continue reading

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Turbulent on the inside. …

Turbulent on the inside. Frosty on the outside.

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avoid, resist

so many things to avoid doing today. i didn’t have time to count or attend to them all. so many phone calls i didn’t return. so many decisions to avoid, resist.  i’m not sure what to do with them all. … Continue reading

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disjunction

even a Lost Pedestrian has some sense of direction everyone once in a while. but sensing it and actually getting there… sometimes there’s a bewildering disjunction. It’s amazing how far I can lean forward in one direction, only it turns … Continue reading

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Yom Kippur eve

So far, i have atoned very minimally, if at all. i woke up with a yearning to atone, but really, what constitutes atonement? forgiveness for my moments of selfishness that were really not about acquiring things, but more selfish, perhaps, … Continue reading

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i saw a half-moon rising tonight …

and felt immediately responsible for the other half. its safety and whereabouts and i will take this with me when i enter sleep in a few minutes after a day on which i could never get a proper handle, on … Continue reading

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i can’t stop eating fruit

but what I really want is a bag of potato chips. i’ve spent most of the day eating other things precisely to avoid eating potato chips. as I type these words, I am eating my 4th apple of the day. … Continue reading

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confidence, day 2

day 2 of my feigning confidence experiment. it’s off to a rough start so far. we all were sitting across from each other in this conference room. at the conference table. i guess it was my turn to speak, but … Continue reading

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