the decider

Lately I am focusing a lot of energy on making decisions without actually having to make decisions. It’s not as if I want others to make decisions for me.

But if I can somehow sway them to make the decisions I would like them to make on my behalf without the tiniest amount of effort on my part, I think that might be rather nice and refreshing.

And maybe then I would not reproach myself with an internal voice that accuses me of being indecisive. I would defend myself to that voice, and perhaps say that I am highly decisive, but that most of my decisions are carried in the vessels of other people–and all I am doing is waiting for their delivery. And maybe clarify that by emphasizing that everyone’s decisions about anything are interconnected… and who am I to not acknowledge those interconnections?

But then that voice would criticize me for waiting, instead of acting. To which I would counter that it would be impolite for me to disrupt the passage of the vessel before its intended time of delivery.

And then both me and my voice would be at a loss for words. Which in itself is a kind of decision.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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