so many things to avoid doing today. i didn’t have time to count or attend to them all. so many phone calls i didn’t return. so many decisions to avoid, resist.  i’m not sure what to do with them all. especially the little matter of leaving most of the people i know and love, to go off to a new city i do not love and where I know no one, for a job i am not interested in.  but they are expecting me to return their call. and i avoided it today. but i’m less certain about avoiding it tomorrow. clearly some action must be taken, and i’m afraid that it will be left to me to take that action. i wish i could will it away. at the same time as trying to think positive. just think positive. is that so hard? whatever happens, just be positive, OK?