i can almost feel it. my winter heart slowly awakening. October is my Spring. i’ve never been able to figure out why i am this way.

the only person I know that seems to really “get it” is my chiropractor/acupuncturist, the most perky upbeat person i can imagine. she even has these really annoying plaques on her walls, with positive message slogans (Imagine prosperity. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.) And she beckons me to visualize these slogans while lying there on the acupuncture table.

But the last time i saw her, i was lying on my stomach while she  inserted dozens of needles down my spine, around my shoulders,  into my back. And while I was lying there, I was so   seized with this tightness around my left shoulder blade. It just kept getting tighter and tighter, like a cramp that was bearing down upon my chest that was about to cave in. I was getting short of breath until it reached a moment of crisis… when she returned to the room to remove the needles 20 minutes later, I instantly puked on the carpet

thus nullifying all of those slogans. my body could not handle them.

But somehow, we are soul-mates as pilgrims of winter

.