Category Archives: Uncategorized

transcendental

it’s been a night of shame. not a shameful night. you see, there’s a big difference. i am talking about the kind of shame one feels immediately in the presence, or even in the virtual presence, of someone who precipitates shame … Continue reading

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namelessly

wordpress has warned me that unless they receive payment of $65 by mid-March, my domain name will be revoked. Although they have not detailed all of the possible repercussions, consequences, ramifications, possibilities, or opportunities. would that mean that i could no … Continue reading

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protective mechanisms

i knew there would be emptiness in the days following the closing of my performance, but i did not quite expect the emptiness to be quite so emptying. it’s like the performance never existed. nothing magical, nothing transforming, no major shifts … Continue reading

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lead

my stomach seems to be making its way through the day without any excess delusions. now i am just hoping the rest of me will follow that lead.

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spell bound

have you ever been so spell bound by beauty that you don’t quite know what to do with it because you can’t contain it all? and it needs some sort of outlet for expression. but it’s so difficult to identify, to … Continue reading

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the next performance

“what will become of us when this performance is over?,” they shuddered to ask. And I said, “which performance?” Then they said, “The one we’re in.” “What about the one you’re not in? Isn’t it a natural progression to move from one … Continue reading

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the challenge

tonight, i’ve been trying to figure out ways for me to pay people back who have given me things. and it feels impossible. my resources are so scarce and i ask for so much and i like to think that … Continue reading

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word

do you know that moment that occurs when your mind is completely empty, but you are completely unaware of your surroundings? what is that moment called?  i know that it happens some time between birth and the end of birth. there must … Continue reading

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5

i’ve been utterly consumed with this performance of late, which is why you don’t see me around here very much anymore. and it’s affecting (effecting?) my balance.  i swear i almost slipped on the ice at least 4 times today. actually, … Continue reading

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Des Moines, Christmas 2014

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apartment hunting (latest [performance] draft)

i’m considering expanding upon an earlier blog post as a performance, which may or may not be a good idea. and I have no idea how anyone could memorize this for the stage. I guess there are probably some people … Continue reading

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Mike’s Special

people were so friendly today everywhere i went. i could not figure it out. because weekend days right before the holidays can sometimes bring out the worst in people. but there was something different about today. it just felt more … Continue reading

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reservoirs and streams

the shocking news of the death of my almost landlord (see yesterday’s post) has triggered further pondering upon my own mortality. tonight i felt this urgency to begin writing the first draft of my living will, which should not take very long to … Continue reading

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my formerly new apartment

finally… finally, 3 years in the making,  I finally found an apartment. absolutely the most perfect place. a loft. lots of open space. quiet. dog friendly. an actual kitchen. and closets. close to the train.  tomorrow, I was going to … Continue reading

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parallels

ever since the day i joined this cloud appreciation society, i have seen very few interesting clouds. i know they are out there, but i don’t always have the presence of mind to witness them. and the ones that are remarkable … Continue reading

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