beta blockage

i confess i have been skirting around the issue, or maybe it’s an un-issue. but i have not felt any emotions whatsoever since February 27, 2015. i’m not quite sure what’s come over me, or maybe what has not come over me.

perhaps some background information might be helpful at this point in the conversation. last year i was diagnosed with something I won’t get into right now, but it is called portal hypertension. to calm my portals, i was prescribed a beta blocker.

but i think the beta blocker may also be seen as chakra blocker because no energies are flowing in, and none are flowing out. i feel nothing. i keep waiting to feel something. but days, weeks, months have passed. not one feeling in sight.

but i am free of all joys and sorrows. no cares. no worries. except for the worries that i have become complacent in the face of this passionlessness and i don’t know how long this will last. or if that is just who i am now. i like to think i am not.

there must be a way to unblock my inner and outer portals without blocking out everything else. i like to think there is.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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