tonight, i’ve been trying to figure out ways for me to pay people back who have given me things. and it feels impossible. my resources are so scarce and i ask for so much and i like to think that someday i can return the favors, maybe not today or tomorrow. but someday. at least i hope i can.

i don’t think it would be very wise to stop asking or to stop receiving. i am only composed of what i have been given. without them, i would be utterly bereft of everything. of most things.

but somewhere along the way it would be very wise for me to give. i hope i can. i hope i am up to the task. to the challenge. there’s a lot to live up to. i hope i can do it. i want to just say i can.