Category Archives: Uncategorized

aspiration 11/27/2022

Is there a limit to gluttony? I have not heard of any such limit. I like to think I will never reach it. I guess that might count as my aspiration for the day.

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aspiration

Each and every day, I want to unearth a mystery. Float over a hurdle. Do something fulfilling in some way. And when that does not happen, I sleep not a wink. I must answer to myself or else I will … Continue reading

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`scribbling

I’ve been reading through old journals hoping to excavate remnants of things that might latch on to remnants of other things. And I read page after page of this barely legible scribbling that is barely legible because at one time … Continue reading

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Morning pages, April 26, 1996

I awakened from a movie dream, a dream about a movie I may have played a part in, or maybe I was only the audience. People in the dream were turning into grotesque and violent ‘aliens’ (as, in aliens from … Continue reading

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Where is Allen? (May 1, 1996)

Seattle, WA I must find out where Allen is. I am not able to accept his death. Being murdered–the violence of writing that word is too much to bear. Inconceivable. Perhaps he overextended his innocence and the world crashed down … Continue reading

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Empty white boxes

Some of us have a fear of empty white boxes. Some of us have a fear of boxes that once were empty but now have been prefilled with all kinds of stuff. Appliances, old CDs, bad art from former friends, … Continue reading

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Doglessness

I don’t know why I swear at my computer to the extent that I do. I have a tendency to get impatient with how slow and uncooperative it can be, but I’m not really certain if yelling ‘come on, motherfucker!’ … Continue reading

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Prison sentence

It’s been16 months since I inadvertently walked into the state penitentiary. I thought I was there just for a quick visit. But somehow I ended up staying until I wore out my welcome. The warden called me into his office … Continue reading

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Self-help guide

This is too embarrassing to speak about, but speak about it I must. It’s too unfunny not to speak about it. So maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I won’t. There’s certainly no shame in that. Lots of shame everywhere else. When … Continue reading

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Jochebed

Sitting on the train next to a woman talking to herself (or so I thought). I was kind of tuning it out until she started repeating “This boat is so small and the sea is so wide.” My first thought … Continue reading

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eulogy

I should have taken it as a red flag during our conversation when we first met when you asked if i had written my eulogy for my very much still alive mother yet. I thought that was rather peculiar, but … Continue reading

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the one truth

when have I ever lied to you? or shall I ask when have I ever not lied to you? I have been lying to you for so long and so pervasively, that even the most startling rays of truth would … Continue reading

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Good at things

I wish I could be good at things. A lot of people I know are really good at things. And there are lots of things they are good at. Some are good. Some are really good. I wish I could … Continue reading

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a dream i almost had

i was sitting at my computer. it may have been deep within my cubicle at work. it may have been on your balcony overlooking the calm turquoise sea. I was trying to meet a pressing deadline and as the moments … Continue reading

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I was envious of you and not pleased about it. Far from pleased. Very very far from pleased. I wish I could be just as far away from this envy as I am from pleased. Because you write voluminously and … Continue reading

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