Category Archives: Uncategorized

Williamstown

From the Williamstown Motel. Drove to North Adams for the Bang on a Can Marathon at Mass MOCA. Mostly really good, especially the 3 Steve Reich pieces. On the surface they all sound the same but if you are paying … Continue reading

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Urban designers

I had to lead a meeting at work today with a group of urban designers. For most of the meeting, I had no idea what they were talking about, but they would talk and I had to respond and I … Continue reading

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Brown noise

Riding the train with white noise in my ears. Actually brown noise. I prefer the lower pitches. I wish I had actually learned to play the acoustic bass when I was in 8th grade instead of merely being photographed with … Continue reading

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Further highlessness

For 2 days I have felt literally nothing. Completely devoid of passion or inspiration. What if this is it? What if I never experience pain or inspiration ever again? What do I do about that? I wish I knew. Even … Continue reading

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Gummy bears

So I’ve been doing a little experimenting with CBD oil. You know, tinctures, gummy bears, gummy frogs, lotions, vapes, bottled water, coffee, etc. I like to imagine it is giving me some kind of boost, but a different kind of … Continue reading

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Vibrator

I’m not sure what happened today. I guess either yesterday never ended or today began yesterday. It’s hard for me to say. Very hard. Last night a TV stupor to escape the emptiness, to numb myself from this world I … Continue reading

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Sabotage

So what happens next? I just declined a job offer in NYC, something I never could have imagined I would do. There were so many conflicting voices fighting to be heard. The voice that told me that I deserved to … Continue reading

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Declaration of Independence

I can’t seem to shake it. Whatever ‘it’ is. This feeling that I am losing or have lost everything. I am clinging to twigs for support against this paralyzing isolation. Everything feels difficult. Everything has at least 1 fear attached … Continue reading

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Disconsolate

I wonder if I died today, how many of my friends would notice. Since I live so far from everybody and rarely see or speak to them. How much time would pass by before the thought of my existence entered … Continue reading

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A swamp

I am in a swamp. And it’s nothing like the Everglades. It might very well be like the Everglades, but I’m not really the right person to ask since I’ve never been to the Everglades, and it’s not even on … Continue reading

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Deadline

My brain like a fog A dense and thickening fog It’s been thickening for years now. Decades actually. It’s difficult to maneuver around in it. I wish I could be more pliant. More permeable I would if I could. It’s … Continue reading

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Origins

It’s so easy being back here in the place that formed me. my place of origination. the source of the majority of things from which I have sprung. nearly lost but re-found friends will ask me what I am doing … Continue reading

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operational inefficiency

today was one of those days where my infrastructure was experiencing an operational inefficiency. my performance across cross-functional teams could have been more optimal. partly because I am still learning the workflows and partly because I forgot so shake the … Continue reading

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the end of the day

This might sound curmudgeonly, but it really bothers me when people begin a sentence with “because at the end of the day … ” As in, “because at the end of the day, it’s family that matters most” or “because … Continue reading

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Extended stay american

There was a time when words mattered. But then it stopped. And nothing was left but vague gestures. But then at that very moment, you entered the room. Suddenly all of our hairs stood on end. The dogs. The cats. … Continue reading

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