Author Archives: The Lost Pedestrian

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.

11:11 pm

Posted on December 11, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

mortality has lately been a great incumbrance of late. i partially blame this upon my job, not because of the job, but because of the benefits. specifically, life insurance. i really did not pay much attention to it until that … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged beneficiary, dinner, father, fractal, life insurance, light bulb, mortality, movie, priorities, time, urgency | Leave a comment

newest therapist

Posted on December 7, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i’m really excited about my new therapist. i felt this instant like of her that i hope is a good thing. i mean she just seems like someone who could be my friend in the real world. she’s just so … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged artist, autistic spectrum disorder, Christo, Monadnock Building, pathology, Phillip Larkin, therapist | Leave a comment

The Optimal Margin of Illusion

Posted on December 6, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

A friend sent me an abstract for this article that i will no doubt be reading on the train today. perhaps i may report back to you on my findings. The Optimal Margin of Illusion Roy F. Baumeister (1989). The Optimal … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Baumeister, danger, depression, distortion, evidence, illusions, maladaptive patterns, optimal psychological functioning | Leave a comment

focus on forward focus

Posted on December 5, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i can’t think of anything to blog about. does anyone out there have any particular requests? you know i do take requests, in case you were wondering. i forgot to mention that i am back in voice therapy and i … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ah, breath, focus, glottal fry, love, mouth, neck, nose, oo, pitch, shoulders, vibrate, voice therapy | Leave a comment

dicey

Posted on December 3, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i think i’m sort of in trouble (again). at least since the summer, i have under-performed at my job, in the mindset that i would be gone from there by the year’s end… and no one has really noticed. but … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged deceit, HR, ignorance, job, morality, neglect, non-communication, performance reviews, responsibilities | Leave a comment

after-party

Posted on December 1, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i think i have partially figured out one possible way to break out of my creative slump. i notice that if i go out to see performances by friends or acquaintances and then hang around after the performances in the theaters … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged after party, collaborator, delusion, performance, slump, vice versa | Leave a comment

sapped

Posted on November 26, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i’m not sure what is going on these days. but i’m kind of in a slump. and i’m not sure how to work through it. i don’t know if writing about it is the answer. maybe it’s the holidays. maybe … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

the unforgiven

Posted on November 21, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i know this (among many other things) might sound really insecure, but whenever I send out a message–voice or email–to a friend who does not respond, i somehow convince myself that i have said or done something terribly, heinously and … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged apology, arrogance, communication, confidence, email, forgiveness, friends, narcissism, neurosis, voice mail | Leave a comment

575

Posted on November 20, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

tonight on the elevator, this man asked this woman if she had heard the news about a 575 year old clam that was recently discovered and then accidentally killed by the scientists who discovered her/him. i know there’s probably more … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged clam, death, demystify, elevator, man, scientists, woman | Leave a comment

moral dilemma

Posted on November 19, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i ran into this moral dilemma today while waiting for the train. Just as the train was arriving, i noticed a subway fare card falling to the tracks from the handbag of this person while she was removing her cellphone … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged death, fare card, retrieve, subway, tomorrow, train, work | Leave a comment

ploughing

Posted on November 16, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i’ve been ploughing through this blog, searching for fragments of things i can piece together into a performance that’s less than 2 weeks away. but my writing is lulling me to sleep. it’s kind of funny. the act of writing … Continue reading →

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Rochester

Posted on November 16, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

sleep has been a real issue for me of late (meaning 20 years). i’ve been trying different strategies and mechanisms and formulas in pursuit of sleep, but it remains an enigma. i’m not quite sure how people do it. last … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ballroom, bar, caffeine, enigma, hotel, insomnia, lobby, making out, martini, melatonin, play, pond, relationships, sleep, spin the bottle, spurned, The Shining, theater, vodka | Leave a comment

land mines

Posted on November 14, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i’ve been roaming around, evading one implosion after another. some of which i am aware, others of which i am entirely oblivious. the produce aisles at whole foods were particularly perilous … land mines scattered all around the apples and … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged awareness, focus, implosion, purpose, walking, war zone | Leave a comment

on beauty

Posted on November 12, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

i can’t seem to get past Jingle Bells. i guess i am talking about in my piano lessons. last week, Fred (my boundlessly patient teacher) told me that my Jingle Bells sounded like a dirge. i don’t know what it … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged beauty, dirge, Fred, Jingle Bells, piano lessons | Leave a comment

disempowering darkness

Posted on November 11, 2013 by The Lost Pedestrian

This might sound negative, but it’s really meant to be positive. i feel like i’m finally acknowledging an essential question: am I really contributing to the world as an artist anymore? this might sound like a question that one should … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged absurd, angst, art, audience, autobiographical, creativity, darkness, dead weight, despair, first-person, idenity, isolation, literal, loneliness, prison, tragic, transformation | Leave a comment