so far it feels harder to be a shy person in new york than in previous years. this perplexes me. but then i realize that since I arrived here last night, i have mainly been in social situations with people i do not know. i mean, it’s actually great. this lifting of habit. these little awakenings. but i cannot easily shed self-consciousness. and i wish i could because then everything would be so much easier.

it was most noticeable today at the movie theater with my new friend (friend of my old friend), J. i was trying to make my way to my seat in the middle of the row and this person was blocking the way while talking to her friend. And when she saw me trying to get through, she apologized, and I said, it’s ok. And then, as we were exiting the theater after the movie, we waved goodbye. those simple exchanges, these shared experiences that are part of the fabric here are so rare in the city where i dwell.

so if one must be shy, maybe i am in the right place for that.