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Author Archives: The Lost Pedestrian
memorial day
tomorrow is memorial day here in the united states. i soooo long to go somewhere, but it has to be a one day trip and it can’t be in a car. and there is not very much in walking distance. … Continue reading
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the iron age
The forest is calling me. It calls me all of the time. It never stops calling me. I guess I encourage it. I say, give me a call. And the trees say, “when is a good time to reach you?” … Continue reading
In trouble again
This morning I awoke from a terrible nightmare where I followed an anonymous friend to some sort of Scientology conference. I immediately felt claustrophobic and I tried to make a polite exit, but my friend told me that this would … Continue reading
series of dreams
I am contemplating a certain period of my life that may not have existed. It’s sort of complicated, so I’ll try to keep it very simple. It was a strange time. I was either having one very long dream, or a … Continue reading
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Mount Misery
Today I took a little hike through Mt. Misery State Park in Lincoln Massachusetts. It was partially a research mission. I wanted to see how long it would take me to get lost and then found again on the other side of the … Continue reading
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Tagged anxiety, hiking, houdini, lost, Mount Misery, trail, trees
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undermining
another day, another 2 days where i could not rise above a loneliness that has completely undermined me. i barely had enough energy to deflect, distract it or fight if off. i’m not sure how i will get out of … Continue reading
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Can’t or Don’t
It’s so strange to me. Confoundingly strange. I can’t seem to converse with any of my co-workers after 4 months on the job. In fact, I am regressing. And the strange thing is… it’s impacting my productivity. There’s a couple of … Continue reading
sedative
One thing I’ve noticed over the past week. If you spend an hour surfing Prince videos on YouTube late at night when you have to get up early for work… well, why would you even bother to attempt to sleep? what purpose … Continue reading
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Oh Shariputra
On the train tonight, I was reading the book I have been reading for the 102 days (1 page per day) on John Cage and Zen Buddhism. I was trying to make sense of this semi-indecipherable section on the Heart … Continue reading
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Tagged Avalokiteshvara, awareness, conception, discrimination, emptiness, form, John Cage, Kay Larson, samsara, sensation, Shariputra, stations, Sutra, trains
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983 days
I went to a concert in this cafe in Cambridge last night, contemporary music for flute and piano. It was great. Very informal. 9 people in the audience. They served beer. Even though I do not drink beer, I appreciated the … Continue reading
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Tagged beer, birthday parties, Boston, Cambridge, composer, friends, kombucha, unfriendliness
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110
maybe if i were living more in an abstraction i would like it better here. but one of the problems is that i am living in the literal most of the time. and i can’t seem to rise above it. … Continue reading
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unfriendlier
i’ve been thinking a lot about what people tell me…. how people are unfriendly in Boston. because each day i am here, they seem more and more unfriendly and then the next day even unfriendlier. but there reaches a point where … Continue reading
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Tagged Boston, computers, demeanor, facade, fault, unfriendlier, unfriendly, work
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Hema
there are days like today where it is impossible to not be utterly flattened by aloneness. this would all be fine and acceptable if i did not have many moments of non-aloneness throughout my life. and those moments were infinitely … Continue reading
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The Lost Pedestrian 