i have such pent up anger over such insignificant minutia that i can barely write tonight. and i only noticed that i could barely write shortly after noticing that i could barely speak. i don’t really know what to do with anger. i’d rather not have it. or any of its toxic manifestations. bitterness, remorse, vindictiveness. all of these things i would prefer to steer clear of, within or beyond myself. anger is for angry people and i am not an angry person. i’m really not.
but this downpour of anger has swallowed me up and rendered me inarticulate. so now what should i do? should i wait for it to diffuse? can i channel it in some constructive way, such as formulating a strategy to escape the circumstances that brought me down to this condition? can i hope that something will align within the universal construct of possibilities to rescue me and take me to a different place? a better place would be nice, but right now i will settle for a different place.
right now, i’m leaning towards that third option. that sounds like the best. what would you do?