i decided to stay in tonight in the hope that a rare night at home would inspire a creative spark or too. that was 3.5 hours ago, 3.4 of which were spent lurking on Facebook browsing other people’s FB presences. All my stamina would allow me to do was lurk. i’m still in shock to have learned of my friend Wendy’s death via Facebook earlier this week. i feel like i should post something to honor her in the ways that her many friends have done. I am truly moved to read their expressions of love, loss, gratitude, their stories, their images, their memories.  but i can’t come up with the right words. all i can do is “like” and lurk, and do what i can in organizing her memorial. otherwise, i can’t seem to merge grieving with social networking.

i also had planned to find a Quigong class in Chicago, or least begin looking for one. a close advisor suggested i practice a pose called “dragon stands between heaven and earth,” which I’ve now done for 4 nights in a row, each night increasing the time a bit longer. But it’s interesting and strange that the longer I hold the pose, the shorter the time feels. which is not a very good excuse for not even making an effort to find a class.

how can i be worthy of being a dragon if i sit around at my computer waiting all night for a dragon to find me?