i can’t tell if it’s healthy or not that all of the clocks in my one-bedroom apartment are set to a different time zone. i know this makes it harder to be in the present. But the non-linearity of it all is good for my training. it keeps me sharp. it keeps me from worrying that i am not sharp.

and with time moving neither forward nor backward, it creates this aura of stillness. a stillness I could hang my hat upon, if only i wore a hat.

i have a lot invested in this stillness. actually, without the stillness, who knows where i’d be? maybe at long last, i could set myself free. free from this habit i’ve fallen into of being older than everyone around me, everywhere i go.

in between completing that last sentence and now, i just discovered  that a dear dear friend has suddenly passed away. i’m utterly deflated and i can’t deal with the process of these shockwaves setting in. but maybe this is why clinging to stillness is part of my fabric. it’s what i count on to survive.

for Wendy H.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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2 Responses to untitled

  1. Nancy Lowe says:

    Re clocks, check out this place: http://www.superherosupplies.com . It has clocks for all five boroughs of New York. I learned about it in Dave Eggers’ TED talk, http://www.ted.com/talks/dave_eggers_makes_his_ted_prize_wish_once_upon_a_school.html
    Also, they do cool things.

    • The Lost Pedestrian says:

      wow! what a cool store. The Index of Good and Evil is exactly what i’ve been looking for, lo, these many years.

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