So far, i have atoned very minimally, if at all. i woke up with a yearning to atone, but really, what constitutes atonement? forgiveness for my moments of selfishness that were really not about acquiring things, but more selfish, perhaps, in the sense of these pervasive struggles with self-doubt and self-reproach, those moments of congestion where I am not even aware of just how closed off I can be to the world and people and situations that are right there in front of me? And where I may be needed the most.

I miss out on a lot. And maybe if I made more regular appearances in the present, I would miss out on less, and then just imagine the possibilities if self-doubt could transform into greater compassion and courage. just imagine the possibilities. i really do think I can make this happen if I work on them more than once in a while. I think I can do that . just try harder.