Everything feels a little off. Another job interview today and I could barely muster the energy or focus to complete my sentences. I kept getting stuck on finding the right words, but I could not filter out the right ones from the wrong ones and I just uttered these strings of words in the hopes that maybe they would form something with meaning.

It didn’t happen. So much garble in such a small window of time.

The most challenging part of a job search, besides forming coherent sentences, is the performance.

Acting as if you are interested.

Acting as if you know what you are talking about.

Acting as if you are confident.

Acting as if you have the skills required for the job.

Acting as if you have never experienced doubt or fear or anxiety of any kind. Acting as if you have never known despair.

Acting as if you belong to the team.

Acting as if you have passion, real passion, for the job.

Acting as if you have known passion at least one time in your life.

Acting as if you were not afraid of death.

I don’t think I did any of those particularly well. But I did what I could.

But all of that acting. All of that acting in ways you are not. It takes a lot out of a person.

But I know that is what it takes. To move forward. To move, period. And that’s the thing. I just have to move.