Sitting in a coffee shop on the eve of the Electoral College vote, with “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” playing on the shitty tinny sound system. I try to tune it out, but it’s the saddest version I’ve ever heard. The lead singer’s merriment sounds forced and inauthentic. The big band accompanying him is clearly going through the motions, barely awake. The trumpet player attempts to improvise a solo, but suddenly loses all track of melody and rhythm, eventually running out of air while attempting a high note. The background singers, too, sound somewhere else and sing something haunting and mournful, like Ligeti’s Requiem. The lead singer somehow manages to make it through the entire arrangement, but as it grinds to a finish, you could hear him walking out the recording studio, slamming the door in frustration and shame. I asked the manager if he could switch the music to something less seasonal, but he said that he had no control over the playlist.