mid-thought

i should have known this would happen. i should have seen it coming. i knew it could happen, but then i thought who am to know anything? and i should have seen that question coming.

but i knew right away that the very second i described loneliness in a post that I would lose all 3 of my readers. i’ve managed to alienate you all. what can i do to undo the alienation? and why would you trust me to do it? why would you ever trust me again?

it was just an experiment, a tiny experiment to see what it would be like to not pretend i am somebody else. maybe if i stopped trying to be somebody, maybe if i stopped trying to fit in, stopped trying to fit into a world, a sphere, a culture that doesn’t really allow someone like me to fit in.

which leads to the question of where exactly someone like me would fit in? And if such a place exists, how does someone like me get there?

the only answer i can think of at this moment is that … wait, i just forgot what i saying in mid-thought. oh yes, were i to stop trying to fit into the places that would never let someone like me fit in. if i stopped trying, how lighter i would feel. how much less energy would be exhausted. it could be exactly the the uplift i need to take me to that place i do not know how to reach.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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