i have tried. tried so hard. tried as hard as a person can to not let this blog become a chronicle of loneliness.

And I will keep trying.

But I have never felt so alone in my life.

I have not had a conversation with a friend, or a family member, or anyone at work (outside of a very unpleasant meeting with one of my managers, and even that does not count as actual conversation since she rarely let’s me get a word in)– for this entire week.

And I can’t bear the weight of such loneliness. It annihilates me. I feel completely disempowered.

So clearly I am not making constructive use of my alone time. Some people can handle it. But those kinds of people tend to not be me.

I long for connection with other humans. But I can’t seem to find it in this strange city. It’s eluding me. What am I doing wrong? And what about the clairvoyant who told me what a great life I would have here? What am I doing wrong to circumvent that?