weight

i have tried. tried so hard. tried as hard as a person can to not let this blog become a chronicle of loneliness.

And I will keep trying.

But I have never felt so alone in my life.

I have not had a conversation with a friend, or a family member, or anyone at work (outside of a very unpleasant meeting with one of my managers, and even that does not count as actual conversation since she rarely let’s me get a word in)– for this entire week.

And I can’t bear the weight of such loneliness. It annihilates me. I feel completely disempowered.

So clearly I am not making constructive use of my alone time. Some people can handle it. But those kinds of people tend to not be me.

I long for connection with other humans. But I can’t seem to find it in this strange city. It’s eluding me. What am I doing wrong? And what about the clairvoyant who told me what a great life I would have here? What am I doing wrong to circumvent that?

 

 

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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