volunteering

i still have yet to figure out what i’m doing here. everything feels unnatural, inorganic, out-of-sync, out-of-tune. difficult. i seem to seek out difficult situations and difficult people. i came here voluntarily. and i knew this is how it would be for a while. that’s what i tell myself. because i must be my own cheerleader. that’s not quite what i meant. i meant, i will have to stage my own pep rally. I will say “I can do this!” over and over again until it loses all meaning. until the words are just tones without words inside them.

i don’t think that will help me from worrying about the close friendships i fear i am losing. if only i could find some sort of sign that these friendships will endure. because i am out i the wilderness. and i came here voluntarily.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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