what makes a person likable? or likable enough? maybe this all has to do with election season and politicians. i keep zeroing in on 1 particular moment during the democratic primaries in 2008(?), I think… when Obama was debating Hillary Clinton. although i can’t recall the context, there was moment when Obama called Hillary “likable enough.” Which came across as so smooth, it almost masked the violence of an arrogant put-down. for some reason, it was a memorable moment in the history of like.
and then I think about my friends and I wonder why they like me. what are the likable qualities? do they think that i am likable enough? when i think about how much i receive from my friends, it feels like it pales in comparison to how much i give back. there’s something that feels deficient. what is it about me that they like?
maybe they don’t really like me at all. it’s hard to say this, but maybe the like is actually love. because in my ideal of love, one is not placing any value or measure into giving vs. receiving. maybe love has nothing to do with relationships in any sense. when you get into comparison thinking, maybe you’re really thinking about who and what you like.
But then if you asked me why certain people love me, I would not have a clue.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I probably should not even have started. But, for some reason, tonight it feels important to attempt to explore this. These are really stray thoughts in search of a container.
There’s really no explanation as to why people love you, but trying to figure out why people like you requires a rational mind that is skilled at finding causal relationships. Liking is so fleeting and vaporous and mercurial–and finding justification, rationale, explanation for liking does not always feel very organic. To Like takes so much more exertion. It’s when you like that you get into that relativistic kind of thinking. it can leave you feeling spent and depleted.
Love seems so much easier than like. It’s just something that just is. It is there, or it is not.
i guess that’s why people might love you without liking you.
But do you really want to be around people like that?