turkey in the straw

i’m in huge trouble. you might say, a world of trouble. although i’ve been feeling that it might be time to accept that i don’t have another performance in me, i submitted a proposal to stage a performance at a “fringe” theater festival in February. i was also convinced that i would be relocating across the country before the festival took place. 2 really great reasons to not do a performance.

but I thought, ok, just as a backup plan. just in case. just in case I am still here, and just in case while I am still here, i feel an urge to create a performance…  just to be on the safe side, maybe I should write a proposal. But I could not really imagine actually doing it.

So far things are not unfolding as i would have hoped. i am still here. so far at least, the bright hopes i had for the job offer on the east coast feel dimmer. the theater festival jury accepted my proposal. and… and I still don’t have a performance in me.

that’s not an admission of failure or surrender, as much as an acknowledgement that i am getting more satisfaction from my video work, and writing here and there, and making progress on learning Turkey In the Straw on piano.

Last night I observed myself from the outside while practicing piano. And I thought that this is not exactly how i thought things would turn out for me. past midway through my life’s journey, practicing Turkey in the Straw in an empty apartment on a Saturday night. this was not the life i intended. not the life i imagined when i was 6. I don’t think anybody could have predicted that. not in any of our wildest imaginations.

so today, i vowed to change all of that. although i have no idea where to begin.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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