i was walking along an ocean, on foreign sand, alone for miles and miles and miles. even the seals were absent.  the further alone i walked, the less alone i felt.

i knew i was still alone. but I felt less alone than i feel when i am not alone. it’s strange how that works.

i am contemplating moving to a part of the world where i am but a stranger, but my big fear in making any kind of move is always isolation. isolation tends to trump everything in all of my decisions and non-decisions.

but it really becomes a non-issue when you take your aloneness with you, anywhere you go. one moment it might be liberating. but the next moment it might be terrifying.

aloneness and loneliness are 2 completely different states of being.

although one is never really alone. and who would want to be?

“not I,” said the fly.