the sky tonight was so purple. this lush purple that was both comforting and threatening. the kind of purple that draws in a certain type of person, such as myself.  maybe walking into this sky is like swimming into the belly of the whale, knowing you might either find the essence of things, or you might be spat back out. and i was about to write that i must have some sort of Jonah complex, imagining that i had just invented the term.

but i was wrong, and now it all makes perfect sense. the purple sky with me under it, and everything else. it was all right there in Wikipedia and perhaps i am stricken by it:

The Jonah Complex is the fear of success which prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one’s potential. It is the fear of one’s own greatness, the evasion of one’s destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one’s talents.  Just as the fear of achieving a personal worst can motivate personal growth, the fear of achieving a personal best can also hinder achievement.