my car nearly exploded as i ascended the parking garage, all the way up to the 13th floor, on my way to another job interview. i arrived just in the nick of time.

but i came out of it as a wisp of a person, not even the slightest bit transfigured. i wish i could be where i am needed the most. it’s distressing to feel so ineffectual here while all of my East Coast friends are going through such hardship, either directly or indirectly. i don’t really know where i am, but i don’t feel as needed here, as i could be elsewhere. i want to be there for them, if only i could figure out how, besides sending out prayer-ish emails of positive thoughts.

but even writing them, i feel like such a wisp of a person. insulated here in my cocoon. waiting for the unexpected instead of entering it.