Dream – December 17, 2022 (just kidding)

I was at my current workplace. This person I did not recognize was sitting in the cubicle across from me. I was surprised because I did not know there was a cubicle across from me. Most of the people in the department are women in their late 20s/early 30s, and they are all white. This person had none of those characteristics. He appeared to be about 42. He looked at me. I looked at him. But we did not speak.

Eventually he moved to a table directly next to my desk, which I also was not aware was there. We started to chat a bit. He was the new guy in the department, assigned to do something with MLR (medical/legal/regulatory) reviews.

One of the women in the department stopped by to chat a bit. I am not sure what we conversed about But at one point, the woman said, “Well, that’s because you guys are old.” To which I replied that I took offense and that I would submit a complaint to HR. She was speechless and just stared at me for about 30 seconds before I said, “Just kidding.” Even though I thought that maybe I was not kidding.

It really bothered me a lot. These days I am obsessed with aging and more and more anxious that time is moving much too quickly for me. I am paralyzed by fear, in a muted way. In my conversations with friends, whenever we talk about things we hope to do in the future, I have gotten into the habit of saying that maybe I will do whatever it is ‘before I depart from this earth.’ My friends think I am kidding. But I am not kidding. I wish I were kidding.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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