12 seconds, I am guessing that this is the amount of time I have spent today thinking of someone other than myself. Or myself in relation to you. But always back to me. With no variation.

This amounts to 86,388 seconds of me thinking solely of me (or me in relation to you) each day.

Yet, I cannot find 1 out of those 86,388 seconds that was inspired, inspiring, productive, fruitful, thoughtful, creative, fulfilling.

Just about all of those seconds were quite forgettable, or at least non-memorable. The one thing I do remember doing quite a bit of, a large proportion of … summoning. Waiting for you to call. Waiting for an encouraging word, waiting for you to think of me as often and as closely and as longingly as I think of you. The you those 86,388 seconds accumulate to imagine.

But imagining you is a poor substitute for summoning you, which I seem incapable of doing. So instead there is waiting.