the question is hitting me again, why am i not in new york? but instead of answering it, i’ve fallen into an obsession. i’ve been working on my first video piece in (I am guessing) 28 years. i can’t say for sure quite why this is happening now, but i can tell you how it happened. in my car. in the rain. i am just lucky that i was about to run out of gas because with a full tank, i would have at least 6 hours of footage. and the project would certainly outlive me, if it hasn’t already.

it reminds me of a haiku i wrote a few year ago

guess who is busy

replacing one obsession

with another one?

but it is literally true, once again.

when confronted with loss and disappointment on many levels, my only recourse is to throw myself into making art. because it’s the only thing i might be capable of doing, even doing it badly. it’s there for me and it’s all forgiving.