i’m frozen. now that i’ve taken the perilous risk in telling 10 or 12 friends about my blog, i’ve run out of things to write about. i think i’ve covered just about everything i can think of, within my very narrow range of thought and expression. maybe this means it’s time to abandon this blog and give birth to another blog, only this time really truly keeping it anonymous. not pretend anonymous.

a former therapist might call this reverse narcissism. i don’t know if i agree about the reverse part. maybe the whole purpose of an online presence can be embodied in 4 one-syllable words.

1. please
2. look
3. at
4. me

i don’t know if anyone really wants to hear about the nightmare that startled me into awakeness this morning. it was dark. my dog and i were walking in a park. out of nowhere, out of the shadowy thicket, a wolf/dog monster jumped out at us. Before i had the chance to react, the monster had bitten my dog, lethally. i looked into my dog’s sad sad sad eyes, at his lifeless body, and my entire world collapsed. it was the worst possible feeling. it’s hard to even write about it.

and then to wake up, feeling destroyed… what else can one do but roam to the kitchen, eat a bowl of oatmeal with protein powder and a banana, and then drive to the gym to ride on an elliptical cross trainer for 45 minutes?

but there’s really nothing to be upset about. i know my dog will return before the end of the week, just like he always does.