a peculiar habit

i am prone to flights of delirium that quickly collapse into waves of panic. it’s a nasty habit i must learn how to break. for well over a week, my job has utterly oppressed and depleted me. in a moment of panic, i was convinced it was stealing my soul. so i turned to a place i had rejected over 3 months ago. And I begged. and I pleaded. Take me back, take me back.

I spent over 3 hours crafting an email, pleading my case to be taken back. I really mean it this time, I wrote. And I proofread it, read it over and over again. And finally sent it out. And that felt good for about 90 minutes.

And then another wave hit me shortly after my plea. what if they agreed to take me back, would i really want to go there? what was i thinking? what had possessed me? my god, what have i done? I asked.

but it was too late to intercept the email.

i guess i don’t know how to live without chaos. i should have learned by now.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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