in the thick of it

just when i think it couldn’t go any higher, i am reaching new highs of alienation at work. there’s so much aggressive male energy, so much of it, it’s this foreign land i do not know how to navigate. it’s the kind of environment that i’ve spent my entire life — each and every waking hour — doing my best to avoid. and now here i am. in the thick of it.

if there were 1 friendly face, 1 encouraging voice, 1 hint of acknowledgement, maybe everything would not feel so oppressive. maybe i could find a place to breathe a sigh of relief.

but all of these men, these un-artful men … like a fraternity of undergraduate business students. they’re so loud, too. so unfunny and so loud. a lethal combination. and they talk down to me, too. i am glad i never worked as their house-keeper or janitor.

and my co-worker is just as masculine as the students. she cuts you off before you have chance to complete your sentences. she corrects you a lot. you ask her now she is doing and she tells you that you forgot one detail in a monotonous procedure. and when you ask her about her weekend, she tells you that there are 2 hockey games to watch on tv.

each day, i crawl deeper and deeper into myself. and when the workday is done, i have no idea who this person is that i’ve been carrying in my body. Who are you?

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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