embedded with paranoia today. everyday for the past 6 months, a debt collector has been leaving me  hypnotic robotic voice mails. and potential employers are running background checks on me, while others withdraw in secret. and un-identified lawyers are viewing my LinkedIn profile.

who are you?, i ask. but i am met with silence, except for this persistent ringing in my ears. perhaps this is a code. i just have to listen more closely. but maybe that is just a trap, a trap for the vulnerable.

i fear that dark forces are at work. something buried deep in my deep, dark past. so deep they may pre-date my earthly existence.

i fear i may have committed a misremembered transgression. some harmful act i committed many years ago. some detail i may have missed. there’s always some detail to miss, even if you are paying attention… especially if you are paying attention. too much attention arouses suspicion.   i fear it may be catching up with me.

i fear my fears. and my paranoia. if i have harmed or mistreated in you in any way, dear reader, i beckon you to please tell me. and i can assure you, i will be very sorry. if i have done something wrong, i will try to be better.