How long does it take to redeem yourself from transgressions of sensitivity and tact? I fear I have crossed the line again with this new person in my life. I thought we were doing so well until she told me we were not.

Which made me feel sad and self-conscious. And when I am sad and self-conscious, I behave like a sad and self-conscious person. And then I am not fun to be around. Not very smart or witty or entertaining. Not on top of things at all. Rather, at the bottom. Why would anyone be interested in being with someone like that?

So how does one get back to the top? How does one prove they can be the person they would like the other person to see them as? The true me. The me that doesn’t feel self-conscious. The me that doesn’t feel like it has to prove anything. The me that does not try to win anyone over.

Because I think the only way to win someone over is to stop trying to win them over. Just be.

Why does that feel impossible?