A new ride

They tell me it’s true. There is nothing to be afraid of any more. Every fear has already been felt, some in a feedback loop that feels eternal. Or maybe more eternal than the lifespan of whoever carries the fear.

But beyond that, what more can there be?

The fear that you are frozen in fear. That’s a pretty major one. That would be a nice one to cross off of our list.

Then there’s the fear of change. As in, not being able to adapt to it. As in, me in Boston for over 2 years now. Or maybe not the fear of the change as much as the fear of losing everything. Friends, family, community, restaurants, gyms, doctors, therapists, parking spaces, chiropractors, neighborhoods, identity.

Now that’s fear and it seems like it’s real and it has mass and weight that outweigh you. It feels like concrete, but it’s only dust and smoke. But if you’re sensitive to allergens, it feels real.

That you leaves you with a couple of options.

One might be a binge… TV, food alcohol, more TV, more food, online shopping for shoes and hats and sex and kindness and a good psychic.

Another is sleep, or a very long, very deep, very productive (dream-wise) nap.

A third might be constant motion. It doesn’t matter if it’s a voyage to another hemisphere or a walk to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. As long as you keep things moving, as long as you are a moving target, there’s a chance you might actually elude fear.

All of those options seem at least worth exploring. And if they don’t work, you have nothing to lose except for maybe seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades, an entire lifetime, however long it take before you realize all of this was just one mega-allergic reaction to the phenomena that derails you from happiness.

That’s when it’s time to find a new mode of transportation.

About The Lost Pedestrian

In my wanderings throughout the moments/days/years, I try in earnest to find the mystical within the mundane and the mundane within the mystical, oftentimes confusing one from the other. I have wandered and roamed through many a city, many a town, in a state of wonder and bewilderment, without necessarily going anywhere. I am easily lost, but eventually found. (I am guessing you have just found me). My sincere hope is that you will find Something in this warehouse of thought, memory and false memory, words, numbers, tangents, murmurs, echoes (lots and lots of echoes), voices, dreams, and other paraphernalia.
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