i fear that i’ve become how I imagine people see me.
they don’t see this childish person trapped in this old’ish body
they don’t see that i have or once had a sense of humor
or any kind of creative thought
they don’t see anyone with any kind of passion or interests
or depth
or depth of feeling
they don’t hear the music playing in my head
they see my fears and insecurities
but they might see them more as quirks of character
i wish i could make them see me differently
that I could control this somehow
but this weight of these imagined perceptions
this weight i have not been able to shed
standing on the scale each morning does not seem to help
The Lost Pedestrian 