Isn’t it sort of interesting that on days you do not engage in any form of exercise, you compensate for that by eating more and doing less. It’s uncanny how that always happens.
Much of today was spent looking at apartments with these 2 people I had never met, and I have no idea if we have anything in common–other than a desire for cheaper rent.
Fatima was the de facto leader of our group and she had arranged for us to look at 3 apartments. She is a psychologist, and her demeanor was very difficult to penetrate. She was friendly. She was cheerful. She was clear on what she wanted (a big kitchen and central AC). But I felt that there was something there that I was missing, something that could become a potential source of tension. Something foreboding and dangerous. Or she could have just been a nice person. But I had to turn it into a struggle.
Justin was a landscape designer (I think), and he did not speak very much. I think his main requirement was an Internet connection. I got the sense that it really did not matter to him if the 3 of us, or 2 out of 3, connected at all. He was very easy-going. I think it was genuine.
So we looked at these apartments and I realize now why I am so exhausted. It’s partly because I was trying to take in as much of each apartment and each neighborhood as I could within a short span of time. Trying to imagine what life might look like or what it might become in each of those places. While at the same time trying to decode Fatima and Justin, their collective and individual auras and energies.
It left me depleted. A long walk around the pond would have been perfect.
But something else took hold of me. And I lost all motivation, all will power… ending up eating 4 tacos and a Mexican bistro, followed by a rather hefty cup of ice cream at the local emporium. And of course, feeling awful afterwards.
I have to figure this out. How does the need for motion and movement and exertion mutate into pure gluttony and laziness? And why? And is this an isolated incident? And if it isn’t, how can I disrupt it before it takes hold of me again? And why is my neck so stiff?