What is the point of being a good person if you don’t act like a good person? I mean what is the point of being good, of having goodness in you, if you don’t use it, if you don’t get a chance to use it, if you are not in situations that call for you to use it?

what happens to all of the good? does it atrophy? does it grow brittle like a leaf in early December? does it dissolve into the earth? And if so, does it come back again?

And if not, what takes its place?

And who takes its place?

If something else replace goodness, does that mean that this something cannot be good?

I’ve been struggling with these questions all day.

Yet I have not really been very good all day. I have not been bad. I feel that I’ve been bad. But it’s just an absence of good that is making me feel so bad.