I’ve been taking Uber a lot lately… on weekends. Perhaps it’s just laziness/impatience with public transportation that is not always functioning as was the case when it took almost an hour and a half for the 6 mile journey from Jamaica Plain to Central Square. The Sun was blaring down through windows of the bus and I was quickly reminded of how oppressive that Sun can be. I mean I’m glad it’s there. I’m glad it makes people happy. But the Sun and I have always had a complicated relationship that’s difficult to explain. Maybe because I sometimes feel that the Sun is very clingy. And the more clingy it is, the more I pull away from it. And then I feel guilty about that. It’s just my pattern, my very predictable pattern.
But the very moment I begin to pull away, I feel this wave of sadness, this weight of sadness. Because I am wondering how and why the Sun came to be so clingy. The Sun must just be very very lonely, and out of that loneliness, it struggles to connect. It’s really difficult for people to see this because the Sun is surrounded by Sun worshippers. Multitudes of Sun worshippers. So many worshippers to connect with.
You would think that would be enough, but not to the Sun. The Sun tries to be polite, tries to rise above the suffocation it sometimes feels amidst all those who worship it. The Sun might say it is they who are the clingy ones. The Sun is only attracted to those who are indifferent to it, disinterested, disaffected, or who even treat it meanly. The Sun is really only interested in people like me.