i was walking about in my new hat today. i’m fairly convinced i’ve written about my hat at least once or twice in the past year. but it still seems foreign. this thing on top of me that calls attention to the thing below it. my hat and i are not really in sync.
or maybe i am just resenting all of the attention my hat is getting. well, resenting is the wrong word. the hat is getting noticed in ways that make a wallflower such as i uncomfortable, or less anonymous. just today, there was the “greeter” at the apple store, some gang kids on the street corner, and homeless man who nearly broke my heart, asking for food or money or a cigarette. anything. and i had nothing to offer but this hat. and as i was walking past, he called out, “god bless you! and I like your hat!”
some might say, you can’t hide under that hat forever. but i actually am supposed to hide under that hat forever, after my brush with skin cancer last summer. and now that winter is leaving me, hiding under that hat isn’t really that much of a choice. since i choose to remain alive.