ok… the very last word on the situation with my new therapist. i was trying to explain to her how it felt more comfortable for me to see a therapist who made me feel uncomfortable than it feels to see a therapist who makes me feel comfortable. a concept so convoluted, i don’t know how anyone could ever grasp it, including myself who uttered it.  But you know what? She totally totally got it. I was shocked. So now I really do have to continue with her, at least while I’m still in town.

It really is such a strange strange thing. to feel more comfortable being around people who make you feel uncomfortable than with the people who make you feel comfortable. i realize i just replicated from the previous paragraph.

because maybe if I keep typing it over and over again, it will begin to make sense to me. although then it will lose its mystery and elusiveness, which are the very things i thrive upon.