massive layoffs at work last Friday, that i just learned of today. i’m not quite sure how i survived, considering i’ve only worked there a few months and the people who were fired had worked there considerably longer and actually liked their jobs and, I think, their employer. they are dedicated.

And I, who would be happy to be fired (assuming i had an immediate safe landing elsewhere), somehow survived “black friday.” and it’s strange to suddenly have survivor’s guilt. i wanted to run up to the offices of “senior management” and plead with them, “Please, spare them! Take me!! You’re firing the wrong people!!!” But I don’t know how far that would get me.

and truly, if i were fired tomorrow, i’d be in deep deep trouble. maybe i live for trouble. my it’s my modus operandi. i fantasize that if this one door would close, so many others would open. and all i need is that one door.